10 Fictional Cops We Wish Were Real

10 Fictional Cops We Wish Were Real

[Editors Note: Jay Smith, writer for Criminaljusticedegreesguide.com, sent me this article they posted and offered to allow it be run here. I know there are other fictional cops we could add to this list, but these are great picks and great comments. Thought you might enjoy.]

 

       

With all the shows and movies focusing on police these days, it’s hard to find any unique or likable cop characters. Many seem to be cast from the same mold, making it hard to connect to them or emotionally invest in their characters. But there is a handful of fictional cops who know it is their duty to protect, serve, and entertain. Whether we love them for their competency or for their hilarious mistakes, here are 10 police characters that we wish were real.

1. Larvelle Jones from Police Academy

   One of the most important skills for a police officer to have is the ability to produce awesome sound effects with his mouth, and Larvelle Jones is a master. He should’ve been able to skip the police academy altogether. He uses this talent to not only annoy his authorities but to intimidate suspects and entertain the public (or make them flee in terror depending on the circumstances). From gunshots to helicopters to harmonicas, Jones can do it all, and he’d make a very effective officer in the real world since most of us would probably be much more willing to cooperate with a human beatbox than a normal cop.

2. Officer Michaels and Officer Slater from Superbad

   Officer Michaels and his partner Officer Slater would probably be the last police officers you would want protecting you, but the only ones you would want busting you at a party. They attempt to do their jobs sometimes, and if there was a person in danger, they would probably help, but for the most part, these guys are just laid-back idiots. It’s nice, though, to see cops relating to young people and helping one guy have the best night of his life. Maybe it’s a little extreme to set your own police car on fire, but that just keeps criminals from doing it later.

3. Barney Fife from The Andy Griffith Show

   When it comes to small-town deputies, Barney Fife is as tough as they come. Between locking up alcoholics in one of Mayberry’s two jail cells and wooing Thelma Lou, Barney still found plenty of time to inadvertently foil criminals’ plans and take care of a goat full of dynamite. He may not be the biggest or smartest policeman to walk a beat, but he helped keep Mayberry one of the safest TV towns. Every city could benefit from a big-hearted, strong-willed deputy like Barney Fife who will work day and night to nip crime in the bud.

4. William "Bunk" Moreland from The Wire

   William "Bunk" Moreland, a homicide detective in the acclaimed series, The Wire, is the kind of cop you want patrolling your city. As a character, he’s believable at his weakest, displaying faults like alcohol abuse and infidelity, but he’s amazing at his best. Bunk’s a hard worker who always tries to do the right thing and understands the community he’s protecting. He can get punk kids to talk, relate to informants, and use his wit to make you love him. He also provides consistency in the homicide department throughout the series, making you trust your own police force a little bit more. It’s all in the line of duty.

5. Chief Clancy Wiggum from The Simpsons

   Growing up, Chief Wiggum was always the cop in cops and robbers, was a hall monitor, and maybe a part-time security guard. That’s the kind of dedication we’d like to see in our real-life police forces. Sure, he’s a little pudgy and mostly incompetent, but he’s always there when Springfield needs him, even if he’s not entirely helpful. He also has a couple heroic moments under his extra long belt: solving the attempted murder of Mr. Burns and saving the Simpson family from Sideshow Bob. Even though he’s quick to throw the rule book out the window, gets overly emotional about his fellow cops, and eats his weight in donuts, Chief Wiggum is responsible for Springfield being an undeniably happy place to live.

6. Joe Friday from Dragnet

   Joe Friday was such an excellent cop, the actor who played him was buried with full police honors when he died. Friday was a no-nonsense detective with the Los Angeles police department who went about his job, boring paperwork and patrols included, with pride. He’s about as close to a real policeman as you can get on TV (or radio or the movies) because the show’s creators were careful to show every step of real LAPD cases, though most cops today can’t talk as fast as he does. Friday never revealed too much about his personal life, was never overacted, and never failed to earn respect for those in his line of work. And while we wish Joe Friday himself were real, it’s likely that we have someone almost exactly like him in our own police departments.

7. Inspector Gadget from Inspector Gadget

   If there’s anything better than a cyborg, it’s a cyborg policeman. Inspector Gadget isn’t your typical cyborg or your typical policeman, but every child is amazed by his endless supply of high-tech tools that stay hidden beneath his hat and trench coat. He wasn’t exactly the sharpest investigator on the force, but he was brave enough to face the frightening Doctor Claw each week. It may be his niece Penny that really saves the day, but Inspector Gadget is the policeman we always tuned in to see. In real life, the police department might not hire him, but he could at least tour the country showing off his built-in helicopter and other gadgets, or make a really entertaining contestant on a reality show.

8. Marge Gunderson in Fargo

   With a sweet Minnesota accent and a seven-month pregnant belly, Marge Gunderson is one of the most likable female cops of all time. As she investigates three murders (and those that follow) in her jurisdiction, she is incredibly competent and gets the job done by being polite and intelligent, rather than hard and unapproachable like many female police officers are portrayed. Even if the criminals hadn’t been bumbling idiots, it’s clear that Gunderson would’ve been hot on their trail. If we need role models for our little girls, we should point them toward Marge Gunderson, a strong, working woman with a husband, baby on the way and impeccable manners.

9. John Kimble from Kindergarten Cop

   Before Arnold Schwarzenegger was governor, he was a policeman (and Danny DeVito’s twin and a pregnant man, but that’s beside the point). But he wasn’t just any policeman; he was an undercover cop who became a teacher and had a ferret who helped save the day. Detective John Kimble knows how to keep both criminals and kindergarten students in line, and he does it all with his tough but lovable accent. Even though he assaults a kid’s father and starts a relationship with a woman who is both a fellow teacher and a witness in his case, most people would agree that they would feel safer if he was protecting their children.

10. Lennie Briscoe on Law & Order

    In the series that spawned a thousand similar series, Lennie Briscoe is the man that works the streets and makes sure that the bad guys end up behind bars. Briscoe always has some wisecrack to make and gets along well with his coworkers, but isn’t afraid to take a stand for what he believes. During his 12 seasons on the show, he saw countless murderers sentenced to prison time and helped the audience see how the law really works. For many, Briscoe is the way we envision all homicide detectives, or at least how we would want them to be.

K-9 Dogs

Homeland Security Going To The Dogs

President Harry S. Truman once said: “You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.” The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) must have taken Truman’s advice because they’re adding 3,000 dogs to our nation’s capital, airports, and along our country’s borders to heighten security measures. Dog breeders have been alerted to the need. This call for more breeder dogs ignited conflict between certain animal rights groups and those using these dogs for police operations.

One animal advocate fired off an editorial response to DHS’s plan, calling for that agency to seek their dogs from animal shelters and pounds around the country instead of breeders. This author identified herself as the founder of an organization advocating ethical treatment of animals who did not want to see more dogs produced without homes.

The writer really lit a brush fire when she suggested DHS follow the example of “other police departments” using dogs adopted from the pound. These “police departments” were not identified in the article. Now, maybe somewhere in this country there are law enforcement agencies using these abandoned dogs for police operations—but I doubt it.

A popular police web site—primarily serving cops and ex-cops— re-printed this editorial. Howls from police officers ripped through the Internet (can one howl in writing?) One police officer curtly told the writer what she could do with a part of his anatomy. Nasty, nasty comments. This animal-rights advocate—although well meaning—jumped into a fire with both feet. Never, never come between and K-9 officer and his dog unless you want to get bit. This writer/dog lover’s suggestion lacked awareness as to what it takes to make a good K-9 dog—Tramp from the pound generally not qualified.

So what is the hoopla all about? I mean, taking animals from a pound and giving them a home sounds like a great idea. Certainly reasonable to advocates trying to empty the cages at the pound and save these pets from euthanasia. Now, don’t start hurling rocks my way. I love dogs and believe that every owner should treat their pets with love, care, and dignity. But sometimes these animal lovers just lack common sense.

DHS uses these animals to ferret out caches of drugs, cash, and explosives. Local, state and federal law enforcement agencies uses these dogs for building searches, crowd control, and extracting bad guys from cars when the crooks won’t come out. To watch these K-9 units work is awesome. I can’t count how many times they’ve come to the rescue of  fellow officers search building where burglars lie in wait; or just standing by to get the bad guy’s rapt attention during a car stop when the officer needs to gain control . And when a suspect runs—I just stand back and watch the dogs go to work.

All this takes a special kind of dog—one that already comes with courage and heart inside. I'm not a trained canine trainer, but I do know you can’t train this traits into a dog. Many dogs wash out of the program because they don’t meet these standards: dogs coming from high-end breeders who carefully raise these animals to perform this kind of work. You can’t just drop into the local pound and snatch up a canine and go to work. It just won’t happen.


As a writer, I'd love to see a first person Point Of View (POW) mystery novel from the standpoint of a K-9 dog. The world of crime fighting through the eyes of an attack-trained dog? What must an animal think about us humans. Would this be first person POV or first dog POV? I'll leave that to the editors.

Q: What do you think about this issue? Was is worth raising?